DIONYSUS: THE WOMAN’S MAN AND THE SEDUCER

Underneath the full moon, Dionysus dances with the women from town. As the only man present, he joins with his own feminine nature and holds the attention of all the women present. He serves them wine, intoxicating and loosening them up. Even the old and quiet women find themselves rejoicing around him, shedding their harsh self-images for more positive and fun ones. He brings out the best in them and shows them the best in himself. Together they experience moments of ecstasy and joyous madness.

 

The Woman’s Man

The Woman’s Man is a man who genuinely loves women. They captivate him. He isn’t necessarily effeminate and can be very masculine. He simply loves everything about women and views them as equal or better than himself. He worships women and has stronger friendships with them than he does with other men. He’ll never be one of the guys and cares nothing about the old boys’ network.

Women love him; his free spirit is an inspiration. He encourages women to be strong, tough and sensual. Many women are forever changed by his friendship and often leave bad relationships because of the strength he gives them. He’s a best friend to women. He transforms women into strong beings with higher self-esteem. All women are beautiful to him, and he tells them so often. Beneath it all he may be hiding a need to find the idealized woman who can be both a wife and a mother to him, but this is impossible for him.

Eventually he’ll move on, unable to commit to any one woman. This is when most women realize he was only the catalyst to find their inner strength, and they don’t need him to feel complete.

He understands women, and they love to take care of him. Often he is highly psychic and loves to play in other dimensions and altered states.

 

What Does the Woman’s Man Care About?

  • The Woman’s Man cares about ecstasy, fun, sex and love. All acts of pleasure are his rituals. He gravitates to the quiet women in the room in order to loosen her up.
  • He loves to dream but can’t commit to one goal. He craves the experience of the dream; it helps him think he has goals in a world where men are supposed to be goal driven. He is often persecuted by other men for being different.
  • He cares deeply for his female friends and can’t stand to see other men hurt a woman.
  • He strives to be part of the counterculture, to live the life of a rock star. He can be a wonderful Shaman, as he loves to work in other realms and dimensions.

 

What Does the Woman’s Man Fear?

  • The Woman’s Man fears being persecuted by society for not being man enough. Any job, whether he’s in an office all day or working outdoors, would be torture. He can’t follow rules or structure of any kind. Teaching esoteric or philosophical ideas may be one of the few jobs he’s suited for.
  • Losing his female friendships would devastate him. He needs to have women in his life.
  • Experience is everything to him. He wouldn’t mind being in a wheelchair for the rest of his life if he still had his freedom to go places.
  • He fears having his dreams exposed as fantasies that will never come true. He’s not into power and money but can’t stand it when men who are pick on him for his values.

 

What Motivates the Woman’s Man?

  • His biggest motivators are love and belonging. The most important thing in his life is to be loved and needed by women. He feels connected when he’s with a woman. He can give many women unconditional love at the same time whether he’s sexual with them or not.
  • His passion for esoteric ideas can spark his desires as well.
  • Gambling or the idea of winning the lottery would be the most amazing thing he could imagine. It would give him total freedom to be himself without worrying about where he’ll sleep next, and if he has money then other men won’t look down on him but be envious of him.

 

How Do Other Characters See the Woman’s Man?

  • Others see him as a dreamer or hippie, someone on the fringe of society.
  • He’s sometimes moody, laughing one minute and crying the next, but the way he does it makes most women see him as sensitive.
  • He can wear anything, thrift store or Armani. He may not be attractive physically, but his essence and sensitivity are very attractive to women.
  • He’s very sensual and erotic and can often see inside a woman straight to her pain and desires.
  • He’s a great conversationalist.

 

Developing the Character Arc

Look at your character’s main goal in the story and then at the fears you’ve selected to use against him. What does he need to learn to help him overcome his fear? Does he need to make male friendships or find male mentors? Does he need money to help his mother? Does he have a gambling or drinking problem that forces him to stop partying? Does he need to protect a woman from harm? Is he trying to find the perfect idealized woman who can be both a wife and mother to him?

Very often the Woman’s Man needs to learn how to have men as friends. He needs male role models so he can grow up and see value in being male. Only then can he commit wholly to one woman. Very often this man lost his mother when he was young and is on a search to find a woman who can fill her shoes, which is virtually impossible.

He needs to stop running away from the responsibility of life. Every day is a party for him, but he can only keep such a lifestyle up for so long until it comes crashing down around him.

What happened to him at an early age to make this archetype dominate his personality? Did his mother die when he was young? Did he have a lot of nurses and female teachers who were nice and caring? Was his father mean to him or gone all the time at work? Was he shy and girls took to him? Was he uncoordinated and couldn’t play sports with other boys and learn to be like them?

To grow, this archetype can be paired with one of the following:

  • The Businessman – can teach the Woman’s Man how to be a part of the boys’ club as well as provide him with a male role model.
  • The Dictator – can force the Woman’s Man into taking responsibility for his life, or he can cause the Woman’s Man to stand up for himself and fight it out.
  • The Nurturer – can take care of him and wait until he’s ready for commitment. She is his dependable rock.
  • The Femme Fatale – can love him and leave him just as he seems to do to other women. He may fall in love with her for her independence and sensuality and then learn what it’s like to be dumped.

 

THE WOMAN’S MAN

Assets:

  • Shuns money and power for freedom and dreams.
  • Loves all women regardless of appearance.
  • Is chivalrous and gentle.
  • Was close to his mother as a child, although she may have passed away when he was young.
  • Loves to experience new things in life.
  • Is erotic and sensual.
  • Is looked down on by other men for his free lifestyle.
  • Is psychic or into the paranormal.
  • Is a smooth talker with a sharp wit.
  • Is very supportive and always ready to offer his advice.

Flaws:

  • Needs to be around women.
  • Has trouble maintaining male friendships.
  • Has trouble committing to women and career goals.
  • Is searching for the impossible ideal of a woman who can be both his mother and his wife.
  • Is irresponsible and flighty.
  • Can be unambitious and unmotivated.

 

The Villainous Side of the Woman’s Man: The Seducer

If the Woman’s Man is hurt or betrayed by a woman, he may turn into the Seducer. As the Seducer he lures women away from good as well as bad relationships, causing havoc in their lives and leaving them alone to pick up the pieces when he’s finished with them.

He has a pattern of excessive emotionalism and attention seeking. He has a low tolerance for problems and has rapidly changing emotions behind a face that remains stoic and unreadable. He’s a ticking time bomb that no one knows about until he explodes. He is exceedingly sensitive to criticism and is overly concerned with his appearance.

He may become a stalker, obsessing about the one woman who won’t return his favors. His dreams turn to fantasies about her, and he acts out his hurt on her.

He thinks he displays intense love for a woman. He feels he treats them well, and they owe him something. He does everything for them, risks everything for them, and if they want to leave him he won’t stand for such treatment. He feels that “no other man is there for him like I am.”

 

THE SEDUCER

  • May be a stalker if rejected.
  • Loves to play head games with women, coming on strong and then leaving them cold.
  • Likes to be the one to end relationships.
  • Often ends relationships when the woman seems to love him the most.
  • Will be with several women at once and often chooses to be with friends and sisters at the same time to create more turmoil in their lives.
  • Feels entitled to attention from the women he helps.
  • Thinks when a woman says no she’s deliberately trying to hurt him – he’ll show her who’s boss.
  • Is a ticking time bomb no one knows about until it’s too late.
  • Is extremely sensitive and can’t handle rejection.
  • His face remains stoic, not giving away his anger to warn anyone.
  • Often mistakes obsession with love.

 

DIONYSUS IN ACTION

Woman’s Man/Seducer TV Heroes

Sam Malone (Ted Danson) in Cheers

Jesse Katsopolis (John Stamos) in Full House

Will Truman (Eric McCormack) in Will & Grace

Chandler Bing (Matthew Perry) in Friends

 

Woman’s Man/Seducer Film Heroes

Nick Marshall (Mel Gibson) in What Women Want

Robbie Hart (Adam Sandler) in The Wedding Singer

Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) in When Harry Met Sally

Ted Stroehmann (Ben Stiller) in There’s Something About Mary

Johnny Castle (Patrick Swayze) in Dirty Dancing

Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant) in North by Northwest

Will Shakespeare (Joseph Fiennes) in Shakespeare in Love

Jack Dawson (Leonardo DiCaprio) in Titanic

 

Woman’s Man/Seducer Literary and Historical Heroes

Count Vronsky in Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

Count Dracula in Dracula by Bram Stoker

Mikhail in Dark Prince and Dark Gold by Christine Feehan

Leo in I Know This Much Is True by Wally Lamb

Billy the Poet in Welcome to the Monkey House by Kurt Vonnegut

Alec d’Urberville in Tess of the d’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

Porthos in The Three Musketeers by Alexander Dumas

 

©KingsWay 1973.

 

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