The reality about fantasy
I have an old friend I sometimes invite to screenings. She has a fantasy of being a writer: “I could write that, if I weren’t in the secretarial pool.” I always know where to find her the next day. She’s in the secretarial pool.
Some fantasies are fantasies, you don’t want them to come true. It’s okay. Just know that.
Inner Movie Axiom: You are not someone else.
I get calls all the time from clients who say they just came from a movie that was terrible. How did that “dreck” get produced, when their movie is in the drawer and it’s a hundred times better?
One client came in last week with a cover of People magazine. “Why is she on this cover? I have more talent in my big toe than she has in her whole body.” [circus]
There’s a problem. When was the last time you saw a cover picture of a big toe?
Less is more. Inner Movie Axiom: You have a million ideas. You don’t need that many. Look at who makes you jealous. Someone who doesn’t have one fifth of your talent. Find out what she does have that you don’t have. Let who you are jealous of teach you something.
How a dream comes true
You need to believe in your dream.
If you’re having trouble getting your dream to come true, then your dream isn’t big enough. Do you want a beach house or a Masserati?
Is that all?
Let’s fine tune your dream now.
Why do you want a beach house? “To show them”? “To feel like somebody”? “To get girls”? Find what you really want. Dreams are usually for more life.
One of my students, Lucy, wanted to be on the cover of People magazine. We did this exercise: “So that…”
Write your dream at the top of the page. Now go back, back, back to its source using “So that.” For example: “I want to be in People magazine so that people will see me. So that I’m admired. So that Aunt Rose will see a copy in the supermarket and call my mom. So that my mom will get calls from everybody in the neighbourhood. So that she will be proud of me.”
Once you find the source of your desire for fame or wealth, you are free to go directly to that need and fill it. Because here’s the secret of success: If you fill the need first, then you will succeed; if you try to succeed to fill the need, you can only succeed in spite of it.
The difference between a dream and a goal
A dream is an all-powerful, intense wish for yourself. It’s your heart talking.
A goal is how your head plans to realize it.
I had two friends who bought their mega-buck dream estates at about the same time. One conferred with his financial counsellors and made a long-term plan to keep the house even if his humongous income suddenly dried up. The other bought his dream house on the spur of the moment. You might say a very expensive impulse buy.
The first is still living in and loving his house. The second lived in his for eight months, with no furniture, until the whole dream became a nightmare.
Do you want your dream to become a nightmare or do you want your dream to come true?
If you want to make your dream come true, change it to a reality. That’s what coming true means – no longer a dream.
When is someday?
Go directly to your dream. If you think you have to go to graduate school first, or write TV before you write films, or retire to have time – you don’t. Inner Movie Axiom: Go directly to your dream.
Do you think success goes to the lucky, to the other guy who doesn’t have your problems?
Success goes to the one who has as many problems, but solves them.
You have problems so that you can do with them what you choose. You can deny them, avoid them, become embroiled in them, or solve them and move on.
©Andrea Nicola Dodgson, 1971.